The View from My Apartment .2
And some of these ideas I write down. Some of them I stick with long enough that I write into a full play. Or Creator Entity of your Choice, a screen play.
But Im slow. Oh, sure I can pump out pages when Im in full steam, I can churn them out, when I know what Im doing, where Im going, or if Im just cramped for time. Otherwise…
Lets be honest with each other, shall we? I dawdle. I do. I am the last of the great dawdlers. I dont always like sitting at my computer and writing. I hate being confined. I hate having to sit still. I hate being on output.
Input vs. Output. Those that know me know that I like to read about a bunch of different things, that I like to watch a bunch of different things, that I like to be on input. I love the inflow of information, be it about the Knights Templar of old or how one of your pets died. I love it. Im a dawdler and a gossip. And as someone that likes being on input, its hard for me to flip the switch over to output and tell you, the audience, whats going on in my heart and my soul. Could be fear…could very well be I dont like to reveal whats going on down below…
Back to dawdling. So, in the morning, when I get onto my computer, I first surf. I surf the computer well. I read two sites about the news, then a site about Sci-fi/fantasy films and comics, and then another site where sci-fi geeks get together and discuss why they think Superman Returns was a failure or why Heath Ledger is going to make a good Joker in the next Batman movie. Just dont get them on the next Star Trek movieyoull want to eat your own ear off.
Before I know it, I have wasted my time, and I dont know if my brain has gotten smarter, dumber or…is there another choice?
So, after two hours on the computer, then I have to take a break. That means lunch or seeing whats on TV….did I already mention the Knights Templar? Yes…I did. Thank you History Channel!
And then maybe its back to the computer…for a few hours…just a few, I set and I crank out some pages…before my Judge shows come on…Oh, for the power of the Peoples Court!
So…clearly, I like to distract myself. In fact, this particular blog is being written instead of writing some pages. What and Why am I distracting myself?
To be…well…to be to the heart of the matter, I dont think I like to be sitting with myself for to long. Thats why I like the input switch…its information coming in pushing around all the other stuff already inside so I dont have to think to much, just consume.
I wrote an essay once for a class about being brave. Its times like these that I dont find myself being brave. That Im not brave enough to sit with myself and create something on the page that can move peoplewhich I know I can do. That Im not brave enough to allow myself the success that I deservewhich I know I can achieve through hard work, an open heart, and perseverance.
I must be brave. To finish the work that I started. To finish the plays. To finish the stories. To move forward.
Thats it for now…
Next time…Ill write about good news…